Why going vibrator-free can unlock deeper pleasure and orgasms
WHY WE DO NOT RECOMMEND FREQUENT VIBRATOR USE:
Quick (we call it fast food orgasm) orgasms induced by vibrators can lead to a lengthened refractory period—the time it takes for your body to recover and become aroused again. This happens because the strong vibrations can temporarily overstimulate and desensitize the nerve endings, making it harder to achieve multiple orgasms or experience prolonged pleasure. In essence, relying too heavily on vibrators may dampen your ability to explore the full spectrum of your sexual pleasure.
2. Numb vaginas: Vibrators primarily target external clitoral stimulation, but the external clitoris is just the beginning, representing only about 10% of the sexual pleasure and potential a woman can experience. Many women experience numbness in their vaginas, and using vibrators can exacerbate this by solely focusing on the clitoris, while neglecting the inner parts of their pleasure anatomy: the internal clitoral structure, the vagina, the G-spot, and the cervix. The inherent pleasure potential of these inner parts remains untapped as they are left neglected and untouched for the most part. But it doesn't have to be this way.
We urge you to set the vibrator aside and gently shift your focus away from the immediate stimulation of the clitoris. Your genitals are meant to be alive, vibrant, and fully engaged in your sexual experiences. Deep vaginal orgasms offer a level of pleasure that surpasses what surface stimulation can provide. They have the potential to transform your life.
To access this deeper pleasure, you need to reconnect with the sensations in your vagina. You must revive and invigorate it. The most effective way to do this is by rebuilding the pleasure pathways through stimulation of the inside of the vagina using fingers or non-vibrating toys. These tools are often longer, harder and easier to use and provide more targeted stimulation than fingers alone.
Many women who ditched vibrators and embraced slow pleasure are adept at tuning into subtle sensations in their genitals that might otherwise go unnoticed. This is often due to the body's initial desensitization, requiring time to adjust to these ultra-fine pleasures. I vividly recall my own experience when I first embarked on the journey of slow sex—I too encountered a lack of sensation initially. However, it was through a gradual process of recalibrating my muscles and nerves that I eventually learned to discern even the gentlest and most subtle pleasures.
Now, I've reached a point where I can achieve orgasm simply by holding the Raven Wave inside and gently squeezing my pelvic floor. This newfound ability highlights the transformative power of embracing slow pleasure and attuning oneself to the nuances of sensual experience.
3. Lack of Understanding of Sexual Dynamics: Women who lack understanding of their own bodies and sexual dynamics may rely on vibrators as a shortcut to orgasm without exploring their full pleasure potential and the nuances of arousal and intimacy. They also never learn how their bodies and pleasure anatomy work. This limited understanding can lead to a belief that sex is solely about achieving climax, overlooking the importance of arousal buildup, emotional connection and mutual pleasure.
In our society, discussions about sexual education and exploration often fall short, leaving many women with a limited understanding of their own bodies and sexual dynamics. Without proper education or guidance, women may turn to vibrators as a quick fix for achieving orgasm, without fully exploring their body's capacity for pleasure or understanding the intricacies of arousal and intimacy.
Vibrators can provide immediate gratification, but they do little to educate women about the diverse erogenous zones and varied pathways to arousal and climax. As a result, women miss out on the opportunity to discover the full extent of their pleasure potential and may remain unaware of the sensations and experiences that are available to her.
Relying solely on vibrators can foster a belief that sex is primarily about reaching climax, overlooking the crucial aspects of arousal buildup, emotional connection, and mutual pleasure. Without exploring the nuances of sexual intimacy, women may fail to recognize the importance of foreplay, communication, and mutual exploration in creating fulfilling sexual experiences. This limited perspective perpetuates the idea that sexual satisfaction is solely dependent on achieving orgasm, neglecting the profound emotional and physical connections that can enrich sexual encounters.
Beyond the limitations vibrators may impose on our pleasure experiences, there are also numerous health and well-being considerations that prompt more and more women to reconsider their reliance on these devices.
4. Missing out on natural chemicals: When you reach for your vibrator, you're fast-tracking your way to climax, skipping over important phases of sexual arousal, mainly the orgasmc plateau phase. This means you're missing out on the release of key chemicals like oxytocin and nitric oxide that your body produces during the prolonged plateau stage. These natural substances play crucial roles in your body, from boosting immunity to regulating ovulation patterns and improving cervical mucus. By bypassing these phases, you're not only missing out on potential health benefits but also altering the natural rhythm of your body's sexual response. On the other hand, by extending the orgasmic plateau phase, individuals can potentially boost their fertility, reignite their sexual desire, and regulate their menstrual cycles more effectively.
5. Material Safety Considerations: Another crucial aspect to consider is the materials used in manufacturing vibrators. Many conventional vibrators contain substances like phthalates, which are known endocrine disruptors and may pose risks of irritation and infections. Research has shown that these toxins can exceed safety thresholds, prompting concerns about their long-term impact on intimate health. Opting for body-safe, non-toxic alternatives not only prioritizes personal well-being but also promotes a more sustainable approach to pleasure.
So, what do I do without my vibrator? Glad you asked. Keep reading if :
- You want more control over their arousal and orgasms.
- You desire to experience the organic buildup of sexual energy, relishing every sensation across the entire body, not just focusing on the clitoris.
- You don't want to be reliant on battery operated devices and crave to experience full bodied pleasure filled with intimate exploration
First and foremost, take the time to educate yourself about your pleasure anatomy. Our Female Pleasure Anatomy guide was specifically written for this purpose. Take the opportunity to read it and explore your body based on the insights you gain from the guide.
Next, ensure that you allocate at least 30 minutes for your self-pleasuring sessions. While this might initially seem like a significant amount of time, it's important to recognize that in a female body, the natural buildup of sexual energy and activation of female erectile tissue takes longer than in a male body. By dedicating ample time to your pleasure, you allow yourself the opportunity to fully immerse in the experience.
If necessary, use lubricant to enhance your sensations. When using your hands to initiate pleasure, lubrication can significantly enhance comfort and pleasure. You may be surprised by the profound impact lubrication can have on your orgasmic experience when you opt for a more natural approach.
You will find useful information in these articles:
Turning clitoral stimulation into prolonged whole body orgasms
Things you need to know if you want to have G-spot orgasms
Beyond the clitoris: Discovering the spectrum of female orgasm
"It's been years since I ditched them, and I haven't regretted it once. Getting back sensation took patience and some time, but oh dear, so totally worth the effort."
"I unplugged + after getting used to it, I will never go back. Multiple orgasms are far easier without vibration."
"This was me five years ago. Heavily reliant on vibrators. Couldn't come with my own hands, let alone my partner. Then I got deeper into the study of yoga and mindfulness. Later discovered you through The Yoni Empire. Implemented all the practices you shared in your newsletter, got the yoni massage course and your pink curve. So much has changed for me since.... So much more pleasure, the type of pleasure I never new existed. I've collected 4 of your toys since then. The curve is still my go to when I need a slow, relaxing massage. The Pearl and now the Awaken are my favorite wands for pure cosmic ecstasy pleasure. And yes, I can orgasm with my partner now too. But I have had to instruct him to go slower and deeper, as that's what works for me the best."
"Desensitised me, fingers felt boring. I threw my vibrator in the bin. Adapted! Don't miss it.
"I listened to the podcast you shared in this weeks newsletter about vibrator addiction. That was me before my friend introduced me to your toys and your work. I had been buzzing myself with vibrators since I was a teenager and got to the point where I could not feel anything anymore. Not during self pleasure, not with a partner. Then slowly even the most intense vibrations stopped doing it's thing. I ditched all my vibrators after I got the Onna Curve and Pearl more than two years ago now and never went back. I have since gained a much better understanding of my own body and pleasure and can climax pretty much every time and whenever I want. I believe this is possible for all women. Vibrators are like a quick fix, a pill that does the job initially but overtime stops having by effect."
