Article: Men, Sex, and Experience: How Desire Shifts with Age
Men, Sex, and Experience: How Desire Shifts with Age
Sex isn’t just about bodies—it’s about growth, self-awareness, and connection. When men look back on their younger sexual selves, many are struck by how much has changed: the ways they experience desire, give and receive pleasure, and understand their own boundaries. Through conversations, interviews, and informal surveys, a clear pattern emerges—sexuality evolves alongside maturity, confidence, and emotional insight.
Here’s what our male followers shared about that journey:
"It’s less about conquest and more about self-discovery. I have a life-partner who I’m compatible with and shares my wants and desires. There’s no awkwardness. No guesswork. I’m a lot more confident, communicative and not afraid to ask for exactly what I want, when I want it."
"The transformation from sex being something that happened in the mind and the genitals, to an experience of the body and heart. And so much more insight into what good sex is."
"I’m no longer so obsessed with the visual — both seeking attractive women and getting off on specific images or positions. I am much more interested in feeling comfortable, secure, safe… and providing that for my wife, as well."
"Now I know how to listen more and don't be ashamed of talking about what has happened, to handle proper feedback."
"I know more now than when I was younger. When I was young, there was oral sex and penetration. Now, i know better, and still more to explore."
"Back then, it was just fucking and being a horndog, but now that I'm older, it's about connection—mental connection. There are still some exceptions because we all have fantasies about the type of woman we want, whether she's thin, thick, a certain hair color, older, etc. But now I'm definitely more cautious about who I share my energy with. It's quality over quantity, and it's about whether the sex will heal you, not steal from you or drain you. Shit is real out here."
"My ability to control my body and my penis. My appreciation for my body and for my wife’s."
"I'm a better lover now. More confident. More free. Open to trying new things. More comfortable with my body. More familiar with female bodies. More comfortable saying what some kinks and preferences I have."
"I'm more focused on compassionate lovemaking now than lustful sex before."
"More acceptance and less shame of my sexual desire from my younger years. More of a yearning for connection over just sex."
"I took a (too long time) to really understand, that orgasms (male or female) are not a must-be. And further: male orgasms (such as my own) are not the end of the show. The show can go on ;)"
"The main difference is that without passion, desire, or love, I’m just not interested. Now I try not to fuck someone just to please her or just to have something to brag about to my friends if I don’t genuinely want it."
"I wish I had known earlier that, unless asked otherwise, I should slow down—even when I think I'm already going as slow as possible. This applies to kissing, licking, fingering, fucking. I'm more confident now, more open, and more willing to talk about what feels right and what could be better. When I was younger, my biggest concern was not coming too quickly. Now it's about not being present enough—like catching myself thinking, What if the baby wakes up?"
"Definitely being confident ! Not only about what I want or what I like, but also about my ‘’sexual skills’’."
"Haha, the younger me was a sexual monkey who was quite insatiable and was driven by lust and beautiful women. Sex was performance driven and I always wanted my partners to feel well fucked. And if I felt I hadn't performed well enough, I would feel insecure. It was all ego driven. The mature me, has gotten much more in touch with my own body, my own feelings, my own heart and energy, and values connection, honesty, respect, vulnerability and alignment, where sex is something to be explored, enjoyed slowly and deliberately as an unfoldment, not a performance. Although I can still enjoy a good fuck at the right occasion, with the right partner, I prefer making love that can be wild and free. I see sex now more as a sacred energy exchange where two can become one. I still love the beauty of women, but I cherish the scars and marks on her body from life experience, equally so. Now I understand that every female is an embodied goddess in form and I worship her accordingly.""I am less afraid. I will try things that I’ve wanted to try. It may not be with my partner, but I will try. When I was younger, I would never try things. I would keep them to myself."
"I have more self control. I know how to please her/myself/both. I am not afraid to try. I am not afraid to say no.""I realized that most girls don't care about your size.""Education. I listened to pods, and listened and learned. Lost some shame. Grew confident. Read She Comes First and The Big O. Learned that penetration is not the means to orgasm for most women and learned how crucial foreplay is and differnet angles and positions for her. And learned to use my voice to communicate."
