Article: Is Your Pelvic Floor Too Tight?
Is Your Pelvic Floor Too Tight?
Ever been told to “just do your Kegels” or "get a yoni egg" and walked away thinking… wait, that sounds a little too simplistic? Yeah. You’re definitely not alone. For a lot of women, the problem isn’t weak pelvic floor muscles at all, it’s that they’re holding way too much tension.
Learning to release, relax, and work with your body can be a lot more helpful than forcing another squeeze or trying to stop your pee midstream.
We talk a lot about pleasure on this blog. And pleasure depends on ease, receptivity, circulation, and feeling relaxed in your body. When the pelvic floor is too tight, it can get in the way of comfort, arousal, orgasm… but also everyday things like peeing or pooping. Learning to recognize and gently release tightness in your pelvic floor is often the overlooked piece that makes everything feel easier and more enjoyable.
How a Tight Pelvic Floor Actually Shows Up
You’d be surprised how many people are walking around with a tight pelvic floor and have no clue. The symptoms don’t always scream “pelvic floor" and can be super sneaky.
Bowel habits
One of the first clues often shows up when you go to the bathroom. If pooping feels like effort, straining, dealing with constipation, or constantly feeling like you didn’t fully empty, your pelvic floor might not be relaxing when it should. Pencil-thin stools, hard-to-pass stools, hemorrhoids, or rectal pain? Yep, that can all be linked to muscles that are gripping instead of letting go.
Urinary symptoms
A tight pelvic floor can also affect your bladder. Difficulty starting your stream, needing to push to pee, a weak or sprayed flow, or the sensation that you haven’t fully emptied are all signs that muscles may be holding on too tightly. Burning or discomfort, especially when tests show no urinary or skin infection, can often be traced back to tension rather than bacteria.
Sexual discomfort
Pain with penetration, pain at the opening, or deeper sensations of “too tight” are some of the clearest red flags. You might feel burning, rawness afterward, or that your partner is hitting a wall. Difficulty orgasming, painful pelvic exams, or even trouble using tampons can be early signals that the pelvic floor is holding on instead of letting go.
Other body clues
Tight pelvic floor muscles don’t always feel pelvic. Tailbone pain, vulvar burning, a heavy or achy pelvis, deep hip or high hamstring tension that never fully goes away—these can all be linked. But there is one key sign, that will confirm your pelvic floor is too tight. It is how your body reacts to contracting and doing Kegels: if contracting makes symptoms worse or you can’t fully relax afterward, your muscles probably need to learn to release before strengthening.
Why Kegels and Yoni Eggs Aren’t Always Helpful
Kegels are designed for underactive (hypotonic) pelvic floors, but if your muscles are already tense, more squeezing just makes it worse. Think about clenching your jaw all day and being told the solution is… to clench harder.
This is really common during pregnancy, postpartum, periods of high stress, or if you’ve been dealing with chronic pelvic pain. In these cases, the focus needs to be on letting your muscles relax and move naturally before trying to strengthen them.
Learning to Relax Your Pelvic Floor
Relaxation starts with the nervous system. Slow, deep breaths tell your body it’s safe, letting the pelvic floor move naturally. On an inhale, your ribs and belly expand and your pelvic floor lengthens and softens downward. On an exhale, everything gently lifts and releases.
Gentle positions below can help reinforce this softening and release:
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Child’s Pose: Kneel, bring big toes together, knees wide. Sink hips back toward your heels, stretching your arms forward. Exhale and let your belly and pelvic floor soften. Five to ten slow breaths.
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Happy Baby: Lie on your back, knees to chest, hold the outsides of your feet, let knees open wider than your torso. Breathe, imagining space widening through the sit bones and pelvic floor. Do this for a duration of five to ten breaths.
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Supported Deep Squat: Feet wider than shoulder-width, toes out. Lower into a squat, chest lifted, elbows inside knees if you want support. Focus on slow exhales, relaxing jaw, belly, and glutes. Put a yoga block under your heels if needed.
Do not push yourself or hold your breath in these positions. If it hurts or feels forced, simply stop and breathe.
Using Pleasure Wands for Pelvic Floor Release
Breathwork and gentle stretches can do a lot, but sometimes your body needs a little more guidance to really soften. That’s where thin curved pleasure wands come in—they’re designed to support both relaxation and pleasure, helping you feel your pelvic floor in a new way.
The curved shape of the wands lets you explore areas of tension gradually, staying connected to sensation without forcing anything. When used slowly and intentionally, they can:
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Encourage blood flow to the pelvic area, which helps muscles release naturally
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Increase awareness of the pelvic floor, so you can notice where you’re holding tension
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Target spots that feel guarded or sensitive, helping them soften over time
You definitely do not want to use a wand to force a release. A wand should be used as a tool for curiosity and exploration. Our advice is to keep your movements slow, steady, and comfortable while using plenty of water-based lubricant, light pressure, and deep breathing. Even just a few minutes can make a noticeable difference.
If you’re seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist, these wands can complement that work perfectly. They help you bridge the gap between clinical exercises and real, lived experience, allowing you to reconnect with your body in a way that feels pleasurable, grounded, and safe.
Used consistently, thin curved wands don’t just release tension, they can help you learn what softness feels like, so every part of your pelvic floor eventually learns to relax on its own.
The Takeaway
A tight pelvic floor is quite common and usually comes from stress, repetitive habits, or protective muscle guarding from past experiences.
Before you attempt to strengthen, your pelvic floor needs to relax and lengthen. Strength without relaxation often makes tension worse.
Pelvic comfort, coordination, and sexual pleasure all depend on this first step: letting go and relaxing.
Are you feeling disconnected from pleasure and want to change that?
Is this you?
✔ You struggle to feel consistent pleasure, arousal, or orgasm
✔ Pleasure feels possible, but unreliable
✔ Orgasms happen, but feel shallow, tense, or short-lived
✔ Sensation stays localized instead of spreading through your body
✔ You want deeper internal pleasure — not just surface stimulation
✔ You want to understand your body rather than override it
✔ You’re ready to build pleasure as a capacity, not chase it as a peak
If you’re feeling numb, stuck, or unsatisfied — or if you know there’s more available to you — this is an invitation to explore that more.
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A body-based, somatic journey designed to help you reconnect with sensation, deepen arousal, and expand your orgasmic potential. Over 21 days, you’ll be guided through essential somatic practices that help you:
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Awaken sensitivity
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Create a responsive, trusting relationship with your body
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This is for women who feel disconnected from pleasure — and for women who want far more of it.
