Unfortunately, for many women, it is not possible to “locate the G-spot in a few quick steps.” There are many reasons for this, which take up an entire evening seminar and a few chapters of my book. Here are a few of these reasons:
THE DEEP UNKNOWN AND THE TINY BITS
Women don’t have cookie-cutter vulvas. Added to that, women often can’t see what is in front of them, because we haven’t known about the female prostate, and we, therefore, don’t know where it is located in our bodies. Even with precise step-by-steps, some women still won’t see their G-spots, and there are many reasons for this, also. For one, most women think there is something wrong with their lovely vulva! Every single woman in every workshop I’ve done (ok a few not) raise their hand and want me to come over to them to validate that their vulva is ok. That their G-spot is ok. And always want to know “what are these bits?” Basically, I am here to tell you ladies, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR VULVA! And those ‘bits’ are lovely flowers and petals! You are each unique, and the porn stars do not have the corner on a perfect pussy! That’s a very damaging myth; some plastic surgeons are cashing in on that big time! In my workshops, women will open their legs to have their first look-see, and all this shame and Horrors from the Ages rushes out. Sometimes, it nearly knocks me over, the energy of it in a group. There is a deep-seated fear that rushes in and takes over any rationality. There is disgust from potty training that makes you not want to see. There is shame as a young girl from momma throwing open the bedroom door and then screaming during the one and only moment you decide to take a look at what’s down there. We women could fill a book. > > So, there are big social and psychological reasons why they can’t find it, but that has nothing to do with the anatomical fact, which is that all women have a prostate, and it works, and it Is in the very same place in every woman. Just like all noses are in the exact same place on all heads of all people on the planet! However, the variety of noses is truly amazing! Ditto, G-spot.
SEE AND FIND YOUR G-SPOT
Ladies, just sit down in front of a large mirror (no tiny lipstick mirrors, girls, please!) Take two fingers on each hand, and place them on each labia lip. Gently spread your labia (at the vaginal level, not at the clitoris level.) Push out with your pelvic floor muscles, and see if you can see that lovely prostate hanging down through the roof of the vagina! Some women will see it immediately because it is quite large and be very surprised that it is right in front of their eyes, larger than life itself! Other women will have to open wider and push out harder and work at it a bit more, but it is there! It is there; don’t doubt it!
Many women never used muscles to perform this action before, so they will find that they can’t push out. It doesn’t mean you have weak pelvic floor muscles; it only means you never did this before, so take a breath! Relax! And everyone, do this five more times! Each time you will see more. Remember, you were told that the G-spot doesn’t exist, and when we are told this from every corner of society for our entire life, we tend to believe it. You can’t see what you believe is not there, this is a perceptual fact. SO TAKE TIME AND PRACTICE. Finding your G-spot is not a magic bullet for most women. There are issues, more than this article can hold. This process and your efforts absolutely need patience and tender loving care! Other reasons that many women “can’t find their G-spot” is because “they don’t feel anything down there.” This is because the G-spot is numbed out in most women due to the way we make love in western culture, which is to ram this prostate, fast and furious, often before a woman is really ready to receive this high level of stimulation. So, you may touch your G-spot, and it may feel numb, painful or burn, or pleasure.
Read HERE for how to awaken and increase the sensations in your G-spot.
Say hello to her and accept her fully and completely as she is today. Because one thing is certain: she changes with TLC (tender, loving care). Stop making her perform and start a relationship with her instead. She is the center of your life force, so start learning how to listen to her wisdom and stop telling her what to do.
ENTERING THE VULVAVERSE
You have just opened a door to another universe, an entirely new territory, unexplored by humankind! We want to go to Mars, and yet a Christian Abbess from the year 1080 told us there is a universe inside our lovely vulvas. Hildegarde of Bingen’s illustration entitled in German Das Weltall means The Universe. Exploring her requires only your fingertips and 30 minutes of solitude twice a month. Let It Flow!
About the authors:
DEBORAH SUNDAHL is an author, sex educator, workshop facilitator, and seminar leader. Deborah's groundbreaking book, Female Ejaculation and the G-spot, and her videos (Isis Media), have taught thousands of men and women about the G-spot and female ejaculation. Through her lectures, workshops, and instructional media, Deborah has spread the good news internationally about the G-spot & female ejaculation since 1985. She is a spokesperson for intelligent, positive sexuality, and an advocate for adult sex education. You can read more about her work here www.deborahsundahl.com
Her book Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot.
Or private guidance and hand holding with Deborah HERE.
©2020 Deborah Sundahl, LLC