January 21, 2018CULTURE

When Orgasm is Stronger than Common Sense

There is no force stronger than a severely under-fucked woman. Back in 1920's France, Emperor Napoleon's great grand-niece Marie Bonaparte (1882-1962) could not orgasm during intercourse. The fact that she was married to a latent homosexual Prince George of Greece did not help her situation. In addition, her lovers were not of much orgasmic help either. Bonaparte could orgasm while touching her clitoris but was unable to do so during penetration alone.

Marie assumed, like most women do, that something must be wrong with her if she is not writhing in orgasmic ecstasy from her lovers' cocks during sex. Bonaparte was not a professional physician, however, she was a passionate woman with a powerful libido. This woman was on a mission to get herself off at any cost.

 Marie was closely linked to psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud. Her devotion to his work and her wealth contributed greatly to popularity of psychoanalysis. It is of no surprise that a woman connected to the man who viewed women inferior to men, would hold such negative sexual self-esteem. Freud’s infamous views about female sexuality have set women back for decades.

Hang out long enough with a professional chauvinist and you would question your own sexuality as well. A Freudian thinker, worried about her sexual capabilities, Marie was desperate to fix her anorgasmic vaginal affliction.  

Armed with a ruler and a determination, Marie conducted her own research study by measuring the distance between the clitoris and the vaginal entrance of 243 women and interviewed them about their sex life. Her results were quite interesting and fell into three categories.

1. Women with the lengthiest span between the vaginal entrance and clitoris (about 1 inch or longer), were unable to experience orgasm during penetration.

2. Women who had their clitorises less than an inch in distance from the vaginal entrance, were almost always guaranteed an orgasm from the phallic in-and-out thrusting.

3. The rest of the ladies were the “in-betweeners” and climaxed sometimes, depending on their moods, their husbands’ sexual orientation and what have you.

Marie’s conclusion was that in order for a woman to reach orgasm, the correct distance between the clitoris and the vaginal entrance is critical. Marie considered herself as the women from the unlucky first group. In her desperation to orgasm “vaginally”, just from penetration alone, Marie had her clitoris surgically moved TWICE, closer to her vaginal entrance. Clearly, relentless ambition gene runs in the Bonaparte family!

Unfortunately, neither of the procedures produced a desired effect.

Later, in her research paper for the French Medical Journal, Bonaparte outlined her non-surgical solutions to the predicament of women in similar clitoral situations - “…just try a different position where the clitoris may come in contact with the phallus." - she wrote.

Studies show that only 20-30% of women are able to orgasm from penetration alone. Others require the help of additional clitoral stimulation - fingers, mouth, toys, etc. The truth is, our clitoris is way bigger than the tiny pea we like to flick every now and then. This magic bean extends deep inside the vaginal walls and varies in size and shape among women.

The medical community has properly mapped the clitoris only in 1998 so one can imagine the amount of ingrained misinformation that most women operate under, still to this day.

Current research shows that women who orgasm "vaginally" during intercourse are actually having clitoral orgasms - the friction from the phallus is simply rubbing on their clitoris either from the outside (because it is close to the vaginal entrance) or the inside the vagina (what we call the g-spot).

The G-spot, unlike most tend to believe, is actually not a spot at all, but rather an erogenous area inside the vagina, connected to the clitoris. With proper tending to the G-AREA, every woman is able to feel pleasure.

While some can reach the Big O during any sexual position, others need to find THEIR perfect position. Better yet, take the matter into your own hands (literally) and touch yourself while being penetrated by your lover.

Even today, the idea of women “helping” themselves during sex is often a misinterpreted insult to their lover’s skills. Imagine the blasphemy it would have created back in the 1920’s. With Freud’s ideas feeding into the fire, it is no wonder that women still feel inadequate and confused when it comes to their orgasms.

Stories like Marie Bonaparte’s remind me of how different we all are and how horny too! Sometimes, desire for pleasure can drive us mad to drastic measures.

There is no one right way to orgasm.

There is only YOUR WAY to orgasm.

The best way to find out what works for you is with genuine curiosity and play, solo or with a partner.

You are perfect the way you are.

Your clitoris is perfect.

Your vagina is perfect.

Your orgasm is perfect.

About the Author: Elena is the creator and author of The Yoni Empire and co-founder of Onna Lifestyle. She is a sex researcher and writer, lover of all things pleasure-related. She writes shamelessly about female sexuality and eroticism. A self proclaimed Pussy Whisperer, she is on a mission to nourish women, one orgasm at a time- connecting heart, body and mind. Follow her at @the_yoni_empire & @onna_lifestyle.

Photos by @maria.krugovaya