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Article: What is your erotic language?

What is your erotic language? ONNA

What is your erotic language?

better sex


One of the most common struggles amongst couples in long-term relationships is the gradual fading of sexual arousal around each other. The love and intimacy may grow stronger with time, yet sexual desire for each other seems to dull.

Everyone is wired differently when it comes to sexuality and libido. You may find yourself fully inlove and committed to your partner yet at a loss around them sexually. Whether you no longer feel aroused or struggling to seduce your partner into making love with you, your frustration could stem from you speaking different erotic languages.

Maintaining a healthy mutually-desirable sexual relationship could be as easy as discovering what erotic language both partners speak. When a lover speaks in YOUR language, they know how to turn you on and vice versa!

According to Jaiya, an international award-winning sexologist with 20+ years of work in somatic sexology, there are 5 ways people are sexually wired. Our erotic wiring is responsible for our most memorable sexual experiences, peak orgasms, sexual attractions, choices in erotic films, fantasies and kinks.

Working with thousands of clients she noticed repeating patterns of turn on and turn off and that people fell into Erotic Personality Types. She named them Erotic Blueprints.

Erotic Blueprint is the sexual language which you speak - the way you give and receive sexual and sensual pleasure. Understanding your Erotic Blueprint is the key to better sex!


The 5 Erotic Blueprints are:

  • Energetic
  • Sensual
  • Sexual
  • Kinky
  • Shape Shifter

Take this 5 minute free Quiz to discover yours and your partners!

Although we all have a part of every Erotic Blueprint inside of our erotic wiring, there is usually a dominant Blueprint which leads one’s erotic expression throughout one’s life. Discovering ways to nourish it as much as possible is the first step to sexual satisfaction.



erotic languages


According to Jaiya, Energetic Blueprints are turned on by anticipation and yearning. Energetics love a good tease when it comes to seduction. What arouses them is feather light touch, eye gazing, emotional closeness and breath. Sometimes, the best way to touch an Energetic is to not touch them at all.

Since Energetics can easily tap into emotional space, their own and their partners’, they tend to be quite sensitive to any changes. This can inhibit them from feeling arousal. Too much or too quick arousal can short circuit their positive sexual experience.

Energetics tend of get judgemental of others due to their sensitivity and spiritual-like connection to their body. It is important for Energetics to remember that there are other blueprints who enjoy sex in different ways.

Are you an Energetic Erotic Blueprint? Find out here!


erotic languages


Sensual Blueprints are turned on by the surrounding environment and beautiful aesthetics. They crave the perfect experience of the five senses. Sensuals love things like sexy music, massages, flirty dancing, soft bedsheets, aromatic oils & playing with various sexy objects. Sensuals enjoy exploring different sounds, textures, perfumes and flavours. Bodily cleanliness & freshness is also vital for them. Their lover must be well-groomed at all times.

Often, unless the scene is set perfectly right, Sensuals might have a hard time being turned on. Their minds tend to chatter a lot and they have a hard time staying in their body during sex. They can get too critical about the environment being just right and obsess over things like music being too loud or oil staining the new sheets.

Did you already discover your Erotic Blueprint?


erotic languages


Individuals with a primary Sexual Erotic Blueprint are straight forward sex energy. No games, no foreplay - lets get down and dirty approach to love making. Sexuals are turned on by sexual context - dirty talk, pornography, erotica and nudity.

Sexuals are often misunderstood for being too shallow when it comes to sex. Their ease of sexual arousal is a double edged sword. On one hand, they can easily get in the mood and on the other hand they have to do all the work to turn on their partners. Hard work of seducation to arouse a partner can make Sexuals feel frustrated and bored. They tend to find other Erotic Blueprints too complicated often loosing patience during foreplay.

Are you a Sexual Erotic Blueprint? Find out!


erotic languages


Kinky’s are turned on by taboos and love anything that is naughty. There are two types of Kinky’s: MENTAL Kinky and IMPACT Kinky.

MENTAL Kinky’s loves to play with power dynamics when it comes to sex. They are turned on by role games such as master/slave, teacher/student, submission/permission and masochism/sadism. Mental Kinky Blueprints love the anticipation, the control, and the helplessness in their eroticism. They either love to be overpowered sexually or to express power-hunger.

IMPACT Kinky’s are into the physical aspect of sexual play - BDSM, slapping, choking, spanking, being tied up or held down and wrestling. There is a whole “Kink World” with endless fetishes, games and accessories.

Often Kinky Blueprints are ashamed of what turns them on. Many Kinky’s are secretive or in denial about their desires and fetishes. Unravelling the Kinky blueprint can take a person very deep into their most intimate eroticism. Sometimes Kinky people are firmly attached to their fetishes and turned on exclusively by them. Thus, they can feel trapped with other blueprints which might not get of approve of their kink.

Do you think you may be a Kinky Blueprint?


erotic languages


ShapeShifter Blueprints are the most interesting of the erotic blueprints. They are capable of being turned on by everything. They are highly erotically sophisticated, able to tap into subtle sexual changes and their lover’s needs. This ability makes them fantastic lovers!
Since Shape Shifters are fluent in all sexual languages, sometimes, they tend to loose sight of their own sexual needs. They crave sexual variety. Easily morphing into the needs of their lovers, they often don’t claim their own pleasure and bore easily.

Are you a Shape Shifter Blueprint? Find out here!


Jaiya supports individuals and couples in nurturing their sexuality with the Erotic Blueprints. Her online course takes people from A to Z with the Blueprint system, giving them tools to maximise depth of connection and sexual satisfaction within themselves and with any lover. The 8 week in-depth online course goes beyond the commercial sex tips. It is a complete immersion into who you are sexually and how to nourish your erotic self. It helps you boost your erotic confidence, ask for your needs, share your desires, heal your sexuality and deepen a connection to yourself and your partner.

Sexual Mastery begins with the self!

If you are craving to have every aspect of your erotic self fed as well as to connect deeper with your partner then Erotic Blueprint work is for you!




About the authors:
Elena and Adela are the founders of Onna Lifestyle and self-proclaimed Pleasure Cheerleaders. They believe that healthy sexuality and sexual self-care are important components of health and overall wellbeing. Their intention is to introduce more beauty and conscious pleasure into every woman's life. Follow them on @onna_lifestyle.

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