HOW MUCH EMOTIONAL CONNECTION DOES HE NEED TO ENJOY BEING PHYSICALLY INTIMATE WITH SOMEONE?
The image we have of men and their sexuality is being reinforced everywhere. Men are constantly being portrayed as animals who always want sex and are focused merely on the physical rather than emotional aspects of physical intimacy. But are these stereotypes true?
We asked our male followers how much emotional connection they need to enjoy being physically intimate with someone. Read their answers below!
"100%. I tried ONS, I didn't enjoy. I tried FWB, I didn't enjoy. I tried sex to fulfill my physical needs, I didn't enjoy. Actually I stopped searching, unless I have an emotional reciprocal connection."
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"All the emotional connection. I have never had or been able to have physical intimacy with someone I didn't feel emotionally connected to or a level of safety with. I simply can't and don't get hard. Even if there is a drop in connection in relationship now it has the same effect. Rather than seeing this as a problem (and I have had a fear around it!) I am grateful to be so connected to my heart and that's my barometer for being connected - I am slowly removing any shame about not 'performing'."
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"Not that much ! I need a sexual connection, like you are looking at the person and you know that it’s gonna be sexual/dirty/intense. I can separate emotional connection and sexual connection."
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"If there is no emotional connection I can not be intimate with someone."
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"I thrive on a deep connection. Life brings a certainly reality to our sexual life and I know that sometimes my wife just might not be in the same place as I am. However, we have come to terms with these different situations. Sometimes, I understand that she just wants me to fuck her, and sometimes we need to have deep, meaningful love-making. We make it work."
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"I would say a lot. If we want it just as much, it is always best. "
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"I don’t need much. Sometimes there just needs to be a tension, a gaze that makes me understand she desires me as much as I do, a few words to make sure of it."
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"If finding the other someone(s) attractive as a person is an emotional connection, then that's enough. I can't (and couldn't - I tried!) be physically intimate with a person who I don't like. I need at least sympathy."
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"Not much but it's better if there is a connection. I need trust and no judgement at the very least."
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"I am not a flirting person. Emotional connection is very important for me. I don't like to lose my control over my dick so I don't fuck around. "
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"I have only ever had sex with someone im dating. I am demisexual, something i discovered recently. I need the trust to be vulnerable and i think this connection allows more passion and communication and can lead to better more pleasurable mutual sex"
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"I do need to know the person and have an emotional connection. I had experiences that does not involve emotions like one night stands and I don't quite enjoy them."
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"I can get hard with anyone, but in order to have an orgasm, I have to really feel comfortable and connected to them. "
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"I do not need a great deal of emotional connection to be physically or mentally intimate with someone. When that emotional connection is present, there is a deeper connection, no doubt, but sometimes I’m not looking for that depth."
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"I need a deep emotional and energetic connection in order to enjoy being physically intimate with someone. I need a real connection and someone who has gone deep in their own sexuality, pleasure, body and soul, and know who they are, what they like and what they want. Otherwise it is not worth it and I will just circulate the energy instead, until life brings me the perfect partner. "
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"Quite a bit! Dating for at least a month and being able to understand each other's feelings, needs and love languages."
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"So much, I’m a long term partner, I’m not a one night stand person it’s part of my kink, I’m extremely passionate and it needs to be reciprocated."
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"I need connection to really enjoy it. Like most men I can get turned on by looks alone but the sex is then just essentially using someone else for masturbation which is completely useless in my opinion. "
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"I need some, but I'm not sure of a percentage or anything. I would be willing to sleep with someone on the first date or meeting if the chemistry was there. I actually have done that, but the chemistry was not there. I had been in a sexual "drought" and needed the outlet. It was not the best. I have had two lovers that I was not well connected to and both times were awful. I would even count one as sexual abuse/manipulation (my female friends have encouraged me to call it "rape"). I love connection. There at least have to be some laughs and energy and attraction there. "
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"I have to feel like they are into me not just with words but with actions." .
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"I need to like and connect with them for any kind of intimacy."
Open Wide: 500 Revealing Questions for Lovers to Deepen Sexual Desire
If you’re being sexual with someone right now, YOU NEED THIS GUIDE!
Great lovers aren’t born. They are made.
Download this 87-page e-book, and you’ll get:
- 500 questions designed to stimulate open, honest sharing about sex and desire
- 20+ tips for having fruitful, liberating, even steamy conversations about sex
- The secret ingredient to epic sex that nobody talks about!
- An extensive breakdown of novelty sex, sexual boredom, and long-term sexual desire
- An expert-curated list of the best books on communication and the best online sexuality courses
