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Not many women are aware of yoni self-massage and how it can dramatically improve not only your experiences of self-pleasure, but also your sexual comfortability and sexual relationship with yourself, your self-confidence, and, ultimately, your physical and mental wellbeing (all of which have positive effects on your sexual confidence and sexual experiences with others). 

I recommend the Onna Curve to anyone with a yoni. No matter how comfortable or familiar you are with penetration or with non-vibrating pleasure wands, you can benefit from having the Onna Curve in your bedroom— for whenever you want to massage your yoni with it— and from implementing it, as well as the tips that you will learn in this guide, into your self-pleasure and self-care routine. (With that said, before you invest in this toy, if you suffer from major pain/ discomfort in your yoni or if you have experienced sexual trauma/ if you have PTSD, I strongly recommend that you, first, secure proper medical diagnosis and advice, from a professional who specialises in this, on whether or not you can use the Curve as a mode for self- healing alongside specialised treatment.)


Obsidian yoni wand


With the 12 self-care tips below, you can learn how to use the tapered end of the Onna Curve (the end that is less thick) in a way that maximises your comfort and pleasure, so that you can add gentle penetration, sensual yoni self-massage, and slow self-pleasuring into your self-care routine.

1. Prepare a Comfortable, Safe Space

I recommend doing yoni self-massage on a bed, so that your whole body can be supported and comfortable and so that you can lie back and relax into it. Set your pillows, duvet/ blankets out, however you like them, to maximise your comfort. You may want to also lay down towels, if you are using lots of oil.

2. Before you Get into Your Bed and Insert the Onna Curve into your Yoni...

If you get on the bed and just put your Onna Curve straight inside you— when you are not yet fully relaxed or aroused and before your vagina feels more open, lubricated, and ready to receive pleasure— you may feel your yoni and body tensing up whilst you are trying to penetrate yourself and you are probably going to experience some discomfort/ pain. If your yoni muscles are tensing up, you may also feel that you can’t penetrate yourself as fully and deeply with the Curve as you want to (you may find that you cannot insert anymore than the tip). The Onna Curve has been designed to help you release any existing muscular tension from your yoni, not to create more tension. If you don’t prepare your mind and yoni to receive penetration in a way that maximises your comfort and pleasure, you will not experience the full benefits of the Curve. You can implement the following steps into your yoni self-massage practice to get yourself into the right mindset before you insert this pleasure wand inside you, so that your vagina is physically ready to receive, and get pleasurable sensations from, the penetration of the Curve.

3. Get Yourself in the Mood

First, ask yourself, ‘how do I want to feel whilst I self-pleasure’? Whatever it is that you want to feel— calm, relaxed, comfy, sexy, aroused, beautiful, safe, self-care, self-love, all of these things, or something else— start implementing things that induce that mindset/mood. Whether that is wearing lingerie that makes you feel sexy, sinking your body into a bath of hot water and petals/ bath salts, or literally just putting your hair up in a ponytail, moisturising your face and putting on lip balm, do whatever makes you feel good in that moment and whatever helps you to get in the mood that you want to bring into the bedroom.

4. Sensual Play

Yoni self-massage is a sensual practice. Satisfy your (tactile, aesthetic, gustatory, aural, and olfactory) senses in a way that aligns with the mood you want to induce. You can play with temperature, scents (for example, diffusing particular mood-inducing essential oils and scented candles), music, lighting, and so on.

5. Cleansing, and Temperature Play with, your Curve

Wash your Onna Curve thoroughly before use. At the same time, you can implement temperature play with the Curve: you can run it under a hot tap, for as long as you need to, to warm it up or you can put it under a cold tap/ in the fridge for a cooling effect (but, don’t put your Curve in the freezer). During cold nights, if your bedroom is cool enough, you can even leave your Curve in your bed and, when you pick it up, it can feel cold to the touch: you can massage yourself with it if you enjoy the ice cold touch of the Curve. So, you can warm up or cool down your toy, depending on your mood.

Also, gemstones are natural conductors of heat: so, if you have bought your Onna Curve in gemstone, it can adapt to— and retain— your body temperature for over an hour.

6. Foreplay and Seduce Yourself

Pour into the palm of your hand some body oil that is also safe for use as a vaginal lubricant. I recommend sweet almond oil (which also is moisturising; contains antioxidants; has a subtle and pleasant natural scent; and does not stain the bed sheets). Start massaging oil into your body with your fingers and hands, focusing on your erotogenic zones. Usually, people think that the breasts and yoni are the only body parts that constitute female erotogenic zones. Erotogenic/erogenous zones are areas of your body which, when stimulated in pleasurable ways, can produce sexual arousal and sensations of pleasure. These zones can exist anywhere on your skin and body: primary erogenous zones include the breasts and nipples; yoni; perineum; buttocks and anus; ears; cheeks; mouth (including lips and tongue); the front and back of the neck and shoulders; waist; navel; lower back; hands; inner thighs; back of the knees; as well as the soles of the feet and the toes.

For your yoni to be physically ready to receive— and get pleasurable sensations from— penetration, you need to be as relaxed and aroused as possible. This is why I encourage you to self-massage erogenous zones all over your body, before you massage the inside of your yoni, as a form of relaxation, self-foreplay, and self- seduction so that your yoni is ready to receive penetration in a way that maximises your comfort and pleasure.

If you would like to, you can start with sensually massaging— with genuine self-love and self-care and at a tempo that feels right for you— your breasts and nipples, chest, arms, neck, shoulders, and then slowly work your way down to your belly. You can then start, externally, implementing gentle circular and tapping motions, soft strokes, and other pleasurable movements all over your mons pubis, clitoris,

and labia. Start rubbing oil all over the surface of your vaginal opening (but don’t put your fingers inside yet) and all around your yoni. Slowly stroke oil all over your perineum (the erogenous skin between your vagina and your anus) as well as all over— and in between— your ass cheeks. You can then sensually massage your thighs— particularly your inner thighs— and all the way down your legs to your feet and your toes (all of which are neurologically connected to the yoni: so, it is possible to feel sensations in your legs/feet when you touch your yoni, in a pleasurable way, and vice versa). You can then pick up your Onna Curve and use the tapered end to trace outlines around the yoni entrance in very light circles. You can, of course, also massage yourself in a totally different order to this and you can massage whichever body parts you want to: let your hands go wherever you feel you want them to go and implement whatever hand motions and strokes you most enjoy.

7. You Will Know When You Want the Onna Curve Inside of You

You will feel when your yoni is relaxed, aroused, lubricated enough, and ready to be penetrated by the Onna Curve: at which point, if you want to, you can put some extra oil onto your hands and rub it all over your vaginal lips and opening. When your yoni is lubricated, the Curve can effortlessly and smoothly glide in and out of the yoni, due to its polished finish, without creating friction or irritation to the skin: you can even rub and twist your hand around the tapered end of this toy to oil it up, allowing for extra lubrication and the maximisation of your comfort and pleasure. As you are slowly and gently inserting the Curve into your yoni, reassure yourself that you are in safe hands and that you love yourself at the moment of penetration. (Remember, the safer and more relaxed you can make yourself feel, the more your yoni will be able to open up to penetration and pleasure.)

You will become aware of how much easier it is for the Curve to slide into your vagina after having taken the time to relax, seduce, and arouse your mind and body: at this point, even the insertion of the Curve will, in and of itself, be a much more comfortable and pleasurable experience for you than if you had originally tried to insert the Curve without preparing your mind and yoni.

8. Everyone Has Different Comfort Levels When it Comes to Penetrating Your Yoni

Be attentive to how your yoni muscles and other body parts, particularly your legs and buttocks, tense up or relax when you penetrate yourself: if, at any point, you start to tense up and penetration becomes uncomfortable as a result, this could be because you are not yet completely relaxed or comfortable, mentally, with

penetration. So, in these moments, pause: reassure yourself that you are in safe hands, breathe deep and relaxing breaths— inhale and exhale as many times as you need to— and after the last exhale you can, again, say out loud to yourself, ‘I love you’. You can also tenderly stroke and rub yourself if you want to: you can do whatever makes you feel mentally comfortable, relaxed, and safe during any moments of discomfort or tension. Notice how calming your mind can have a direct impact on the relaxation of your yoni muscles.

Everyone has a different level of comfort when it comes to the penetration of your yoni. You do not have to insert the Curve all the way in. (I did not feel comfortable with going any deeper with the Curve than the tip during my first experience with this toy.) You may want to just start with massaging the tip of the Curve at the surface of your vaginal opening, on your vaginal walls closer to the entrance, if this is more comfortable and pleasurable for you, before you explore deeper penetration. Other women will feel more comfortable with, and enjoy, going deeper with the Curve than the tip. However deep you want to insert the Curve inside of you is totally fine. Don't pressurise yourself into doing anything with the Curve that you are not yet comfortable with or don't enjoy. When it comes to yoni pleasure, no-one’s experience is more valuable than yours: just because someone may be able to put the Curve in deeper than you, this does not mean that they can self-pleasure ‘better’ than you. What matters is what you are comfortable with, that you are enjoying yourself, and that you feel you are benefiting from whatever it is you're doing during your self-care experience. One major benefit of yoni self-massage is that it can be therapeutically relaxing: so, if you're worried about not putting the Curve deep enough, or pressurise yourself to put it to a point that makes you feel uncomfortable because you feel that you ‘have’ to, you are not going to fully experience this therapeutic benefit.

I recommend starting with slowly massaging the Curve along your vaginal walls close to your vaginal opening, anyway, and then if you want to you can go deeper once you feel completely comfortable with penetration and massaging at the surface level of your vagina. Take your yoni self-massage as slowly as you need to and let your body's relaxation level be an indicator of how deep you go. Remember to breathe, reassure yourself, and calm your mind if at any point you tense up/experience discomfort when you go deeper.

Through using the Onna Curve, you can eventually familiarise yourself, and become more comfortable, with penetrative experiences: whether this involves a pleasure toy/fingers/penis/strap on and so on. (I realised, through using the Onna Curve, that I had a lot of discomfort when it came to deeper penetration that I wasn't originally aware of: I became self-aware of just how much my yoni and legs would tense up during penetration. So, by really taking my time, going slowly, and familiarising myself with penetration using the Curve, I slowly was able to penetrate

myself with the Curve deeper and deeper each time without my yoni and legs tensing up: I can now insert the Curve all the way into my yoni, bearing in mind I could only, at first, insert the tip).

9. You Can Gently Massage Spots of Tension, Discomfort, Pain, or Numbness and Play With Pleasure Zones

Using the smooth, rock-hard, tapered end of the Onna Curve allows you to, with minimal effort, apply more targeted, concentrated pressure on individual zones, vaginal tissue, and muscles inside the yoni. What you will notice is that every centimetre in your yoni, when stimulated, can give you a different feeling. Massage— rub, knead, press into— and apply gentle pressure to erogenous zones, pressure/trigger points, musculature knots, as well as any spots of tension, pain, discomfort, or numbness inside your yoni.

We store emotion, stress, and trauma in our muscles. Just as you can experience muscular tension and knots in your neck, back, and other body parts, which can cause discomfort and pain, the same applies to your yoni. Although to different extents, most women have some sort of yoni tension: even if they are unaware of it. Just as you can massage your neck and shoulders to release knots, spots of tension and, at the same time, emotional stress, you can give yourself a yoni self- massage to relieve knots, tension, emotional blockages, as well as the symptoms that can come with that tension: including discomfort and/or pain (especially if penetration is involved); desensitisation/numbness; as well as lack of lubrication, arousal, and pleasurable sensation.

You may realise, through using the Curve, that the musculature of your yoni holds tension and knots that you were not originally aware of. You may also initially experience pain and/or discomfort when you press into these spots of tension: eventually, through persistent and gentle use of your Onna Curve, you can start to release tension, which can start to alleviate this pain/ discomfort, and can feel incredibly relieving and satisfying. (The Curve has been specially designed to help girls and women release muscular tension— and alleviate mild discomfort and pain— from their yoni.) Rubbing spots of tension and vaginal knots in small and gently pressurised circles helps with this release. I also recommend deeply inhaling and exhaling when you are trying to release spots of tension/ vaginal knots: when you breathe out deeply, this has a relaxing effect on your body which aids with

releasing musculature tension (so, in these moments of exhalation, you may experience the sensation of this tension melting away). Pressing into other zones may stimulate sensational pleasure for you: you may decide you want to do some little pulses, circular motions, or other movements on those zones with your Onna Curve to really arouse and enjoy this sensation. Massaging other areas of your yoni may arouse blended sensations of pleasure and pain and can feel both sensational and relieving. Some zones in your yoni which may feel more numb can even be activated/re-sensitised, eventually, through the touch of the Curve.

So, using the Onna Curve to massage different spots, you can start to release tension, activate blood and oxygen circulation in these zones, and your yoni can even become more receptive to pleasurable sensations. Yoni self-massage is a gentle and intuitive process, by which I mean you will instinctively know which zones feel right to massage: you can implement whatever massage movement or pressure that feels most pleasurable, comfortable, beneficial, healing, relaxing, and arousing for you.

10. Release Emotions if You Feel You Need To

Yoni self-massage can be a deeply emotive experience for many girls and women. Since we store emotion, stress, and trauma in our muscles— which can constitute muscular tension and knots— releasing muscle tension from your yoni can release, at the same time, pent-up emotional blockages from your yoni and mind. So, whilst you are massaging yourself, you may experience an impulse to release/ express emotion— whether that is sadness, grief, resentment, anger, deep relief, rapture, bliss or a combination of any of these— through movement, breath, your mouth, tears, crying, sound, and so on. If you feel like crying to release emotion, this is totally normal: allow yourself to do so. I always say that crying and tears are an outlet for releasing pent-up emotion.

Often, girls and women feel that, in this process of releasing/expressing the emotion/s that yoni self-massage can arouse, the negative affect that particular sexual experiences have on them as well as negative, pent-up emotions— along with yoni tension— slowly start to dissipate.

11. Your Yoni is Neurologically Wired to Feel Pleasure in Unique Ways

When it comes to experiencing pleasure from massaging your yoni with the Onna Curve, it is incredibly helpful to know that the yoni is neurologically wired in unique ways for every girl and woman. The variations of neurological wiring in each yoni mean that gently pressing and massaging the Curve into particular zones throughout the female genitalia will produce different sensations and intensities of pleasure for each individual girl and woman. We hear so much about women 'trying to find the g-spot’. Yet, in reality, there are so many ‘spots’— erogenous zones— throughout the yoni that can produce pleasurable sensations when stimulated (so, finding a pleasurable ‘spot’ inside your yoni is not as elusive as you may originally have thought).

You can use the Onna Curve to explore and discover the pleasure ‘spots’ throughout your yoni that are able to produce the most pleasurable sensations for you: gently press into and massage these zones with the tapered end of your Curve and enjoy those sensations. I recommend the 'circular motion and press’ technique: gently press the Onna Curve into an erotogenic zone that feels pleasurable for you and hold it there with gentle pressure for 5-10 seconds then release, very slightly, some of that pressure and start slowly massaging that zone in small, circular motions 5 times. Once you have done this, slightly press back down and hold your Curve still, with gentle pressure, onto that zone, again, for 5-10 seconds. Repeat these steps as many times as you like. Going from circulation movements on an erogenous zone to holding the Curve still on that zone, and applying gentle pressure, builds anticipation and, in the moment that you pause the circular motions, you may experience jolts of pleasure.

Another thing I will say is don’t assume that particular areas in your yoni are not erogenous zones if they feel numb/ if you don’t immediately feel pleasure when you massage these zones: don't just assume that this must be because you are not neurologically wired to feel pleasure in this zone. Erogenous zones in our yonis can become desensitised or numb as a result of yoni tension and particular sexual experiences. Some erogenous zones also feel more numb if they have not been stimulated and activated before. A major benefit of using the Onna Curve is that when you use it to gently press into and massage erogenous zones which are more numb/ have become de-sensitised, it can bring more blood flow, more energy, and more sensation to these zones: so, you can even use the Onna Curve to re- sensitise/ activate erogenous zones.

Through slow, sensual yoni self-massage and exploration of the individual erogenous zones in your yoni, you can start to realise how orgasm is not the be all and end all of your sexual pleasure. Whether they have a deeply therapeutic, relaxing, and/or sexually arousing effect on you, the sensations that massaging your yoni with the Curve can produce for you can be as pleasurable as orgasm in and of themselves.

12. Yoni Self-Massage is Not Orgasm-Centric But it Can Still Produce Orgasmic Sensations for Your Mind and Body

So, whilst yoni self-massage is not orgasm-centric— since it is centred around therapeutic healing— it can activate more orgasmic sensation in your body and can stimulate orgasm/s for you. Often, when you don’t pressurise yourself to have an orgasm, you are able to just relax and enjoy the pleasurable sensations which, in turn, makes you more likely to experience orgasm/s from your yoni/ other erogenous zones of your body. Whilst you are massaging yourself, if you experience an impulse to move your hips, legs, feet, or whatever other body parts, allow your body to undulate, twist, stretch, move back and forth, side to side, in circles, or in whatever motion you feel you need to: this movement can allow sexual energy and pleasurable sensations to infuse throughout your whole body, not just your yoni, creating a pleasurable sensory experience for your full body and your mind. (One time, when I released the Onna Curve from my yoni after internally pressing upon, and massaging in small circular motions, a particular pressure point/ erogenous zone in my vagina, which triggered sensations all the way down my left leg, I felt the need to deeply stretch out my leg whilst lying in bed. After having extended it, I experienced striking pleasurable sensations building up in my left leg. I experienced my first leg orgasm as a result of yoni self- massage, when I wasn’t even expecting to have a yoni orgasm let alone a leg orgasm).

I hope that you enjoy implementing these self-pleasure tips into your self-care routine. Finally, I would like to say, always remember that female self-pleasure is self-care and self-love and that the sexual relationship that you have with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have in your life.



About the Author:

Isabella Rooke Ley is a female sexuality specialist graduated with a Master’s Degree in Gender, Sexuality, and Culture, as well as a Bachelor’s Degree in English Literature. Isabella works with Savera UK, one of the leading charities tackling culturally-specific abuse in the UK, including forced marriage and female genital mutilation.

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